Some good nuggets from the last few weeks in baseball:
“Let’s be honest: it’s not going to affect his speed,” NESN color commentator Jerry Remy after Boston catcher Doug Mirabelli reinjured himself running to first.
“I may not look sexy, but I feel sexy,” New Los Angeles Dodger pitching phenom, 40-something-year-old David Wells, aka the round mound of the mound. He said this right around the time he--who tips the scales at 260 or so--beat out a bunt for a single.
And an oldie but goodie:
“I’ve seen him in the shower. He ain’t the Greek god of anything,” Sox manager Terry Francona upon hearing that first baseman Kevin Youkilis’ nick name is the Greek God of Walks.
Bonus item: How did it escape my notice that the Mariners pitch a guy named Putz???
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A widely misunderstood comment. Francona, a classicist and lover of ancient art, was merely observing that Youkilis did not conform to the aesthetic standards of the ancient Greeks.
According to David Halperin in Before Sexuality: The Construction of Erotic Experience in the Ancient Greek World, "The Greek aesthetic prefers discreet genitals, small in size....Thus large genitals are not the attribute of the superman, and it is not Herakles whom we find provided with a huge phallos, but rather Geras - decrepit old age - or the Pygmies - monstrous creatures, barbarous and misshapen."
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