Barb Darrow

Derby watching

2009-05-03T12:37:00.000-07:00

What a race!

Ever since Barbaro and even before that, it's become too hard to watch the ponies.

So yesterday, I had one eye on my reading material and the other on the TV at the gym. Mostly I pretended to read while keeping an eye on the woman one bike over who was clearly wrapt in the race. When she started hooting and hollering, I had to look and saw the amazing Mine That Bird come from back, WAAAAAAY back, along the rail to take it by a mile.

Then the wonderfully crazy Calvin Borel took his victory lap in some of the best television in a long time. Borel sure knows how to seize the moment The parade led to some world-shaking questions back at the gym. Like:

1: Where were his teeth?

2: Did he take his teeth out to make weight?

3: Did he take his teeth out to minimize injury?

4: If he was toothless to start, would he use his winnings to buy teeth?

whatever the case, he is one charismatic rider. And the aerial view of his winning surge was amazing, and nearly a carbon copy of the "rail sanding" push he made two years ago to win the Derby.

Best of all about this Derby, nobody died.

Why we love Anthony Lane

2009-03-10T20:26:00.000-07:00

He is the snarkiest of film critics and the one people run to read. (Face it, no one cares what David Denby, the anti-snark crusader, has to say.)

Examples of Lane at his best: From his February 2, review of Liam Neeson's thriller "Taken":

If "there’s one thing we’ve learned from “24” it’s that anybody named Kim, with a father schooled in dirty work by the U.S. government, will have a large echo chamber where her brain is meant to be. Kim and a friend leave for a vacation in Europe, where, ignoring the advice of her father, they are abducted with such consummate speed that it might have been simpler if he had FedExed them directly to the kidnappers. Pausing only to borrow a private jet from his ex’s slimy husband, Mills flies to Paris, where he proceeds to work his way, without mercy, through a personal alphabet of undesirable aliens. This being a brisk affair, of little more than ninety minutes, he gets only as far as Albanians and Arabs, but, if I were an innocent Bermudan, let alone a Belgian, I would be starting to get nervous about a sequel.

Snark personified. Plus real value add.

Lane's review of the Star Wars sequel/prequel/ whatever was priceless.

Wanna survive the recession? Bet on booze

2009-02-16T19:16:00.000-08:00

This weekend's Wall Street Journal had a great analysis of stock performance from the Great Depression onward. What stocks did comparatively well in the cauldron of the late '20s and early '30s? Not many.

Money quote:

"The only clear winner: cheap vices. Among the sectors with positive returns were cigarettes, cigars and tobacco, sugar and confectionery products, and fats and oils, which each gained between 1.6% and 7.5% annually."

So if fattening, carcinogenic vices were good bets in the Prohibition era, here's betting booze is the best bet now.

You don't have to tell me twice: But not sure Maker's Mark is publicly held.

Charter Cable: Fool me twice, shame on me

2008-12-19T11:48:00.000-08:00

So the memory of the last run in with Charter Cable faded enough for me to try again to set up broadband access at a secondary residence.

Note to the world: Never, ever, involve yourself with Charter Cable if there is any alternative. And I mean any. Starbucks usurious broadband fees look positively welcoming in comparison..

This time the issue was much the same as last. Call into customer service—a term Charter takes very lightly. Set up another appointment to install broadband internet access. Withstand a barrage of upselling/cross selling attempts. Do we want 256 digital stereo music channels? Sorry no. Just broadband. I set myself up as an authorized user on the account, complete with pin number and all sorts of legalities involving verbal agreement with the account holder who was on the horn with me and Charter lady. Check, check, check

Set up the appointment for the holidays.

Last night, sensing a need to reconfirm, Call into "customer service" to check the work order and the charges we had discussed. Once again, after long waits, the rep has no record of my account holder status. No record of what the charges would be. Nothing. In what I suspected would be a futile attempt to fix the situation, I ask for the supervisor. She was surly right off the bat. I try to cancel the installation. No can do! Have to talk to someone else for that.

Take the night off to cool down. Call into Charter this morning. Navigate moronic voice mail system. Get into automated appointment queue. Turns out there is a way to confirm an appointment automatically but to cancel, you have to talk to a CSR—you got it—the dread "Customer service rep. More hold time.

This person tells me I need to talk to yet another person. I do so. Appointment is allegedly canceled.

Here's betting that the install guy shows up anyway.

Trains, planes & (hybrid) automobiles

2008-12-03T18:45:00.001-08:00

The spectacle of Detroit's Big Three auto execs road-tripping from Detroit to D.C. in their respective hybrids is too rich.

Ford's Alan Mulally, choking on his quote about his own $21-million-plus salary being "okay" where it is, was the first to try to wring lemonade out of lemons. He would make the supreme sacrifice of driving the return trek to D.C. in a Ford Escape hybrid. Quite a come down from the (separate) private jets he and his GM and Chrysler comrades used last time out.

Then Chrysler and GM CEOs were shamed into following suit. Good God men! If you're going to abase yourselves--and well you should after the stunt you pulled you've done--why not go all out? Carpooling is the only way to go. Oh, i know the negotiations over who's crappy hybrid to take would be endless. My suggestion? Prius. That would be some penance.

A friend and I were jawing over who could star in this high-concept comedy: Little Petey suggested Clint Eastwood for one of the CEOs. Hmmm. Must think on that. Frank Langella? Check. We were unanimous on Fred Willard as the third. Rule of thumb: Cast Fred Willard in anything. And everything.

Backup to Clint, if he's too stern: Martin Mull. See above rule. It applies to Mull too.

Related question: When can we officially stop referring to Ford, Chrysler, and GM as the Big Three?

Itty bitty GOP

2008-11-06T19:51:00.000-08:00

David Frum's article in the NYT maggie foretold a lot of what happened Tuesday. And hopefully the trend will continue.

The fact that the McCain operatives (or perhaps even other Republicans) have the long knives out for Sarah Palin may mean that the party will broaden beyond the right wingers that hold it hostage. Or, more likely, the party will blame McCain for being not conservative enough, and continue their nutty rush to the bottom.

Another Repub for Obama

2008-10-24T20:08:00.000-07:00

Heard Bill Weld, former Republican governor of our fair state, on the radio today endorsing Obama. It was a great Weldian quote, reminiscent of how truly likable he was before he got all weird: Running for another term, winning it, only to apply immediately for another gig, divorcing his world-class wife for what appeared to be a twinkie. You know. The usual.

Today's money quote: "I've had about as much fun with Republican orthodoxy as I can stand."

This was the same Weld who jumped into the not-very-clean-yet Charles to prove how clean it was. Forcing other, less charismatic and fun pols to follow suit, much to their chagrin. The one who used to declare his unambiguous affection for strong, amber liquids.

What a guy.

It makes you long for FOX

2008-10-18T17:28:00.000-07:00

So TBS has managed to not air the first half hour of the Red Sox-Devil Rays game. Geez, good thing it's not important.

This is why post-season baseball should be on a real network. Maybe even (yipes!) FOX!

The reason: The hamsters on the wheel in Atlanta were on strike.

Good thing WRKO was online.

And yes, they're still the Devil Rays to some.

Levi Stubbs

2008-10-17T14:49:00.000-07:00

Levi Stubbs has passed away at 72.

The Four Tops were the best of Motown. That group even made the words "Sugar Pie, Honey Bunch" sound really good.

A triple threat (to the ladies)

2008-10-15T20:57:00.000-07:00

One fact stuck out from this labored report about South African leadership.
Jacob Zuma, the head of the African National Congress, is "a polygamist, widower and divorcee."

Oh, and he's been charged with rape.

Like a match to kerosene

2008-10-10T11:02:00.000-07:00

How is it that our president (even the phrase "our president" brings shudders) manages to make matters worse when he reassures us? Everything this guy does is like a match to kerosene. So maybe he should just stop. Everything. Now.

He must be grading on a curve

2008-10-03T17:44:00.000-07:00

CNN helpfully posted a report card after the vice presidential debates. Five pundits, some recognizable, did the grading. Some were partisan--is it really fair to have Paul Begala weighing in? That is SOOOO neutral. Of the five graders, only one, David Gergen, gave both Biden and Palin an A.

Way to keep your future career options open, Dave.

Cubs b-ball

2008-10-02T19:08:00.000-07:00

Love to watch NL ball, which I don't do often.

Man, this Zambrano guy's gonna blow. It's like you can hear the tick,tick,tick as this rocky 2nd inning continues.

And guess who's on deck? Manny Ramirez, who appears to have remembered how to run out hits since moving to LA.

For the love of all things holy, please SHUT UP

2008-10-01T21:20:00.000-07:00

Man, is it possible that the TBS baseball commentators are worse than the FOX doofuses? It can't be, but this guy Buck Martinez is setting verbal spew records.

Just because it can be said, doesn't mean it should be said. Ah, right, the mute button!

RIP

2008-09-29T12:39:00.001-07:00

RIP.

Who's on first? Or why we love Jerry Remy.

2008-09-25T21:59:00.000-07:00

A snippet from the on-air commentary from tonight's Red Sox game.

Don Orsillo: I think the Bruins are playing the Redwings tonight.

Jerry Remy: Oh. Are they on NESN?

Don Orsillo: No. We're on NESN.

The last game

2008-09-21T21:26:00.000-07:00

The whole last-game-at-Yankee-Stadium thing got me. The ESPN lovefest continues apace. How can anyone not enjoy seeing Whitey Ford (who looks fantastic) and Yogi Berra (who just is fantastic) on the telly and watch them chewing the fat w/ Joe Morgan and Jon Miller? (Admittedly, most of this was pantomime –the hotel bar turned up the sound for the Green Bay-Cowboys game but not for the end of a baseball era. So be it.)

Still, as a Red Sox fan who can't quite hate Johnny Damon even after his move south, it was a thrill to see him hit what might have been the last home run in the old yard. (Very short term: It lasted till Molina's next at bat.)

Back to the room and a TV with audible audio. Wait, maybe it's better without sound. Jon Miller, normally the best on air baseball guy-- mentioned how some people refer to Jason Giambi as "the Giambino." Ack. He CANNOT be SERIOUS!

OTOH, it was a pleasure to hear Reggie Jackson in the booth. The guy may rub many the wrong way, but he's no dope. He got in a gentle tussle with Joe Morgan who said Reggie deserved his own penthouse in the Yankee hall of fame. Reggie maintained that a special space should also be reserved for Paul O'Neill, scott Brosius, and several other former Yanks

Said Reggie: "I'll be the first one to say how great I was but for me to succeed in the post season" it was because of the Dick Greens, Catfish Hunters, Bert Campanerises, Craig Nettles and Bucky Dents of the world.

He again cited Brosius and Paul O'Neill as great teammates who had great character—things that don't always show up in stats.

And, in his opinion, Mariano Rivera ranks as one of the top five Yankees ever. He also mentioned Ruth, Gehrig, Mantle, Dimaggio. Did he leave himself off the list? Got a phone call so don't know.

Some of the footage was precious. Don Larson (Don LARSON!) scooping up dirt from the mound while Whitey looked on. Players acting like kids at the end, jumping to get into group shots.

The place was lousy with celebs. What would a Yankees game be without yet another superfluous view of Rudy G's white-and-sour mug? Richard Gere and Spike Lee. Matthew Modine??? Oh, and Bernie Williams.

Conspicuous by his absence was the disgraced Roger Clemens. Was he ever mentioned on air? Guessing not.

I grew up going to both New York parks with my dad. The Press Only sign posted off one ramp at Yankee Stadium piqued a life-long ambitioun to see what went on in such places. And now both buildings will be gone. It really is much sadder than expected

Someone had to say it...

2008-08-18T18:00:00.000-07:00

And someone finally did.

The Tim Russert post mortems were way, way, WAY over the top. Thank God for old crabs like Lewis Latham

Any reporter who gets a state funeral was most assuredly not doing everything right. And nice to see, in an era of mass layoffs among professional journalists that Russert's kid get a plum job .... based on what exactly??

Best comment on Gawker:

"Lapham's right. The two people who must show up at a reporter's funeral are his bartender and the guy he pissed off the least at work. More than that and you wonder if he was doing his job. Can you imagine the state funeral that Larry King will get?"

Manny season

2008-07-28T10:49:00.000-07:00

Is Manny an idiot savant or the anti-christ?

Say what you will about Manny Ramirez--and it's all been said--the man can sum it up. Commenting on the latest scuffle with Red Sox management, Ramirez said: "They're tired of me, I'm tired of them."

Everyone was screaming for Manny's dreadlocked head until he went three-for-five, bashing a couple of doubles against the Yanks (oh, and ran through a stop sign to score). Then the crowd was in his pocket again.

Face it, this happens like clockwork every year. The sun rises, the sun sets, and Manny decides he wants to leave Boston. Then he goes on a tear.

Unbifurcated male garments

2008-07-22T20:33:00.001-07:00

This mailman wants to wear a kilt, er, make that an unbifurcated male garment(aka MUG). So what's the problem?

A-rod vs. Mantle

2008-07-12T20:08:00.000-07:00

Alex Rodriguez passed Mickey Mantle on the all-time homerun list today.

ESPN guy summed it up Saturday night: A-rod has now surpassed MM in many categories--home runs, batting average, something like six offensive categories in all. And he's done this in 400 less games than Mantle. But then again, as EPSN guy pointed out, The Mick owned seven World Series rings.

"Thank you and good night," he said.

Best name ever

2008-06-27T08:10:00.000-07:00

Ofeibea Quist-Arcton.

Why Long Island rocks

2008-06-20T11:18:00.000-07:00

Two bankrobbers evaded capture--for awhile--by strewing cash out of their getaway car. On the Hempstead Turnpike no less.

For-real money quote:

"Ceaser, 44, of Westbury, said he saw money flying out of the car, believed to be a Nissan Altima.

He and colleague Pete Hadjispyrou, 60, stopped working, ran into the middle of Hempstead Turnpike and started grabbing money while the car pulled into the hospital's emergency entrance.

"Fives, tens, twenties, fifties, hundreds," Ceaser said. "I had at least three grand in my hands. That was the most shocking thing I've seen in a while.""

Full Newsday story here.

Odd courtesies

2008-06-18T20:38:00.000-07:00

The other day a car coming in the opposite direction flashed its lights. It was daytime, my lights weren't on, there was some puzzlement. And then about 10 seconds later, there he was: The speed trap cop. Just waiting. On a lovely summer day in a relatively tony section of Newton.

In this increasingly hostile world--the other driver would probably flip me off as soon as look at me in slightly different circumstances--total strangers will still band together against The Man.

There's something oddly comforting in that.

Celts resurgent

2008-06-08T19:40:00.000-07:00

That the Celtics are back in the finals (and are now up by six against the Lakers in game two) is nearly inconceivable to a lapsed fan.

The Bill Russell and Kevin Garnett one-on-one on ESPN. If this doesn't move you, not sure what will.

After moving to Boston in the early 80s, I became a Celtics fan. There was really no choice. This was the Bird-McHale-Parrish-DJ-Maxwell era.

Some personal snapshots from the memory bank.

*Playing Pacman, drinking at Satch's on Stanhope Street with Satch Sanders himself holding court. Sometimes KC Jones played piano. Well.

*Cedric Maxwell (resplendent in his Celtics green satin jacket) at Strawberry's in the Back Bay, rifling through the album racks. I seem to remember him wearing Walkman headphones but was that pre-Walkman?

*Larry Bird reacting to a fan's sign, agreeing that, in fact "Moses does eat shit."

*The whole office following the 1986 victory parade to City Hall, where a love-struck editorial assistant snuck into the no-access area and was touched by Bird on his way on stage. She said he took her by the shoulders and removed her out of his path. Nicely, but forcefully. She didn't shower for weeks.

*Boston fans demanding that the hated 76ers "Beat LA" when it became clear that Philadelphia would win the east. (The "Beat LA" chant seems to have displaced "Yankees Suck" mantra at Fenway at least lately. Give it time.)

It's now 96-75 Celtics. Lots of close-ups of Kobe who looks bemused. Leon Powe, formerly a homeless person (as ABC keeps reminding us) is having the night of his life for the Cs.

Other memories: Riding the Westin's up escalator on Election night in (what was it? 1984?) wearing a Mondale button. K.C. Jones is coming down the other side. He sees the button, shakes his head sadly and says: "Keep the faith."

*Another escalator encounter, this time at SFO several years later. Bill Russell is coming up as I go down. He assumes the 1000-mile-stare. He doesn't want to be acknowledged. So be it.

*Fast forward to a few years ago: Bill Russell returns to the Garden to see his number retired and be properly feted at long last. There was some bad blood but all was forgiven. Bird was there. Dr. J. Wilt Chamberlain! Walton. Less impressively, Bryant Gumbel and Bill Cosby. But still. Breathtaking. A friend--a Boston lifer--took me and it was clear that he, like the bulk of those there were awestruck.

It's a great time to be a Boston fan. There's an embarassment of riches and the yahoos are already unbearably obnoxious. One of the great things is that the various athletes from different sports support each other. It's a richer version of high school. Tonight, Curt Schilling, Big Papi, Richard Seymour, are all at the new Garden in appropriate attire.

Whoa, it's now a four point game. How did that happen? Lesson: never underestimate Kobewankenobe.

The Celts manage to hold on. Huge relief.

Watertown blogger MIA

2008-06-02T16:14:00.000-07:00

Where is H20town?

One of the first local blogs was dedicated to Watertown. (Watertown, Mass. as opposed to Watertown, New York or one of the dozens of other Watertowns nationwide.) It was created by Lisa Williams, a former Yankee Group analyst, and became a public water cooler for politicians and just plain ol' citizens to sound off, ask questions, convene.

If Mt. Auburn Street was blocked off last night and you didn't have time to check out why, you'd ask on H20town and nine times out of ten, you'd get an informed response. There was stuff up there that was never in the local Watertown Tab and completely out of bounds for the Globe. It didn't hurt that the Watertown political scene has more than its share of kooks and Ms. Williams sat in on most of the town council meetings. At least she watched the cable access version, which very few others had the intestinal fortitude to do.

Luckily the Tab started picking up tips and stories from H20town.

Sadly, Williams has been gone for awhile and she is missed. She's doing Placeblogger now. But the H20town faithful wanna know "What about US???"Here's an interview with Ms. Williams from last year.

Money quote:

"The thing about local life is that, at least here in the US, most places are basically comic operas with real estate taxes."

Eternal q

2008-05-26T18:28:00.001-07:00

Why do people insist on crossing railroad tracks when the gates are down?

It seems to happen a lot.

I don't get it.

Memorial Day

2008-05-26T18:17:00.000-07:00

Took a long walk today, down to the Square to do some errands, grab some coffee and check out the annual Memorial Day parade.

It's a cool little parade. ALl the regulars were there: Hibernians? Check. Amvets? Check. VFW? Check. WWII POW? Check. Crazy city counselor? (townies know the one I mean.) Check. Bagpipers? Check.

One question: What's the Memorial Day significance of the fat kids on mini motorcycles and itty-bitty cars?

Some photos from Teddy's blog here.

Celtics' golden oldie

2008-05-21T10:29:00.000-07:00

One of the best things (aside from the obvious) about the Celtics making it back to the eastern championship finals vs. the Pistons is the continual reruns of Robert Parish pile-driving Bill Laimbeer to the floor in 1987.

Not to be a goon, but that truly was a great moment.

Video is embedded here.

Jason's golden thong

2008-05-18T14:02:00.000-07:00

In New York this Subway Series weekend, this story was the talk of the town.

The New York Daily News headline: You're wearing WHAT??

Giambi was two for four with a homer Saturday against the Mets so the thong might be at work. But the Yanks lost 7-4.

No love for Babwa Wawa

2008-05-14T21:20:00.001-07:00

If The Wall Street Journal is any indication, Barbara Walter's autobiography (Audition) is not getting the love.

Money quote:

"Ms. Walters has interviewed many frightening individuals (Saddam Hussein, Moammar Gadhafi, Tom Cruise) and every U.S. president from Nixon on. She is an eyewitness to history, but then so was Forrest Gump."

Best Boston view in town

2008-05-12T07:49:00.000-07:00

If you want the best view of Boston from around Boston, check out the Tavern at the Quarry Hill Golf Course in Quincy.

There's a patio near the bar so you can stare at the city at sunset. Only negative is the broadcast tower.

The old quarries played a pivotal role in The Departed, but you wouldn't recognize them from this place. A betting person would wager that some of Whitey Bulger's old buddies ended up in those holes.

The developers apparently cut a sweet deal to haul off Big Dig rubble to fill in some of the 26 granite quarries, leaving others intact. Rumor has it not only did they get the actual landfill free, they may have been paid to haul it away. Doubly sweet. The Tavern stands at the lip of one of the pits so you can stare out past that at the skyline.

My buddy spent his child hood sneaking into the old quarries and diving from ungodly heights. He said other kids did the same but didn't survive. His dad, the fire chief, had to fish people out all the time and promised hellfire if his kids were caught up there.

Funny thing, my buddy said, was all the kids he used to see there were sons of firemen and cops. "We all should've known better."

Lead Sox No More

2008-05-09T21:24:00.000-07:00

Here's a factoid to raise eyebrows: The Red Sox had 21 straight successful stolen bases going into tonight's game.

21. Bases. Stolen.

In a row.

The phrase "Running Red Sox" no longer drips with sarcasm.

Clemens opts for Giambi defense

2008-05-05T07:12:00.000-07:00

So.

Roger Clemens is sorry.

He's not saying for what, exactly. It isn't for sleeping with an underage girl, because he insists he didn't do that. Nor is he sorry for taking steroids or HGH. Because he didn't do that either.

Glad that's settled.

Roger Clemens is indeed sorry.

Can you say demagoguery?

2008-05-02T18:29:00.000-07:00

Hillary Clinton and John McCain, with the proposed gas tax respite, have proved beyond any doubt that they will do anything to get elected. No matter how craven.

And Thomas Friedman, despite his really, really bad initial call on Iraq has it right this time .

Here's hoping Obama will resist the huge pressure to cave on this. So far, he's hanging tough.

There goes the judge

2008-04-30T16:22:00.001-07:00

The recent 60 Minutes interview with Supreme Court Justice Antonin "Nino" Scalia was eye opening on many fronts.

First, when did Leslie Stahl morph from a pit bull into a gushing school girl reporter?

These weren't even softball questions: They were valentines lobbed his way. Stahl could easily sub in for one of the local sports "reporters" whose questions tend to be along the lines of "Gee, Jon Lester, how awesome were you in hurling your two hitter tonight?"

Such questions must be the price paid for what CBS billed as a "remarkably candid" interview. Did they mention that the Justice has a book to sell? ALso it's great to be remarkably candid when confronted with your perfect straight-A school days and other evidence of your flawless intellect.

More importantly, was the judge, who's noted for a fierce intellect who seemed much more a semanticist.

He challenged the notion that torture is "cruel and unusual punishment." His retort: "Has anyone referred to torture as punishment? I don't think so."

(The interview is here. Click on part 1 of the interview, about 13 minutes in.)

And:

"Hurting him to get information is not punishing him."

Bet the guy getting waterboarded would beg to differ. Probably literally.

Scalia is the perfect judge for the Bush regime: Just keep saying something loud enough and long enough and it must be true.

But say Scalia, parsing his words, is technically correct. Further, allow that punishment is aimed at teaching transgressors a lesson and so is reserved for post conviction imprisonment: Then you have to be found guilty in order to be punished.

One small problem: None of these people seem to be getting a real trial. We're torturing non-convicted people who may never come to trial and so never get convicted. Given that, the prosecutors/investigators are getting their licks in now.

Comedy Central's Jon Stewart weighed in on this and on Scalia's comment that people should "get over" the Bush-Gore Supreme Court finding because it's so "old already."

Welcome to the rabbit hole.

Gumbel gone

2008-04-28T08:21:00.000-07:00

Got an email that Bryant Gumbel has declined to continue in his role as NFL Network guy.

Geez, some of us just realized he was there.

Yeah,yeah, healthier. But how will it taste?

2008-04-16T13:12:00.000-07:00

Sign of the times: Kelly's Roast Beef, home of the area's best greasy-but-delicious fried clams is eliminating trans fats.

If you want your artery-clogging hydrogenated cooking oils, you better start avoiding your major emtro areas. Boston is joining NY, Philly and Brookline, Boston's always self-satisfied neighbor, in banning their use starting in September.

First Fenway pitch will bring chills

2008-04-08T10:21:00.000-07:00

When Red Sox co-owner Tom Werner hinted that the mystery guest throwing out today's first pitch at Fenway would bring chills to spectators, there were two immediate guesses:

One: Ted Williams' head

Two: Bill Bucker.

The Bucknerites win.

Speaking as one of the millions scarred by the 1986 Series, I never held it against Buckner. He hit a a ton even though he could barely walk. He should never have been left in the game for the infamous grounder. There were lots of facets to that loss.

Contrary to myth, Buckner got a warm ovation from the gazillions at the Boston parade for the near-champions. (Only Boston throws parades for losers, but that's another topic.) An ovation compelled him to speak at the City Hall Plaza finale.

He stuck around long enough to open up a batting cage in Waltham, but

given the morons around here, things went downhill for Buckner in Beantown after. You can't blame him for decamping to Idaho.

Others have started Forgive Buckner groundswells in the past. He has nothing to be forgiven for but it'll still be nice to have him back at the fens.

Terrorists' Tang plot

2008-04-07T19:59:00.000-07:00

So alleged terrorists were going to use Tang and hydrogen peroxide to bring down airliners. No kidding. It was on NPR tonite and online here.

A British reporter covering the UK trial said that scientists working from the terrorists' plans were able to set off a pretty scary explosion.

That plot involved the aforementioned fruity orange drink powder (possibly the most famous byproduct of the US space program), hydrogen peroxide, plastic soda bottles, hypodermic needles, glue and batteries.

Now we know why we can't carry large bottles of liquid onto planes anymore.

Makes you rethink all those Mentos and Diet Coke tricks don't it?

Da Mayah

2008-04-01T20:23:00.000-07:00

Here's a politician to get behind:

London mayor wannabe Boris Johnson, known for a sort of tossed-off, rumpled je ne sais quoi, once decribed himself thusly:

“Beneath the carefully constructed veneer of a blithering buffoon, there lurks a blithering buffoon.”

Gagne takes show on the road, same result

2008-04-01T11:33:00.000-07:00

Former Red Sox reliever (and I use the term loosely) Eric Gagne has debuted with the Brewers. Headline: Eric Gagne Update: Horrific, per usual

Deval Patrick Foobar

2008-03-30T10:50:00.001-07:00

Why is it that Massachusetts cannot find a governor who actually wants to be governor?

The problem goes way back. Michael Dukakis, at least, was a competent administrator when he ran for prez. William Weld apparently pined for a senate seat soon afte rhe won his second term as gov. Then, suffered the ignomy of being soundly beaten by John "Live Shot" Kerry.

Later Weld openly pined to become ambassador south of the border. Clinton nominated him, he quit his day gig, and conservative Republicans shot him down. And Mitt Romney, well, we all know Mitt never had his heart--let alone his over-gelled noggin-- in the state house.

Now Deval Patrick, who's already pissed away the first months of his term, goes AWOL during the biggest vote of his career. Even those who shed no tears for the lack of casinos in Massachusetts wondered what the guy was thinking. Worse yet, he was in New York flogging his memoirs for publishers when he could have been working to pass what he called as the solution to the state's fiscal woes.

So far, Patrick, who delivered one of the best inaugural speeches ever, has a legacy that includes Cadillacs,-as-official-vehicles; designer drapes, and a dead-as-a-doornail casino bill.

But wait a few years, and there will also be an autobiography which is supposed to hit the shelves the last year of his administration.

Nice work.

Rock snot

2008-03-30T10:48:00.000-07:00

Rock snot?

Here's a problem I never knew we had. Or could have.

No class

2008-03-27T19:48:00.001-07:00

Not to condone steroids-use or churlishness or overall unpleasantness, but it's nothing short of unseemly that the San Francisco Giants are trying to erase all signs of Barry Bonds from their ball park.

Did they return or burn any of gazillions they earned off of his home-run record chase?

Didn' t think so.

If anyone's a bigger ass than Bonds, it's Bud Selig's MLB.

So why is it

2008-03-24T18:25:00.000-07:00

that it's impossible for me to remember a name or business affiliation or phone number, but when a vapid 70's pop song (Fill Me Up Buttercup) plays every word comes unsummoned?

Tin ears

2008-03-23T17:07:00.000-07:00

If you have any show biz friends or acquaintances, you know the scenario: They hijack the dinner/cocktail party/any occasion to perform. Whether or not anyone asks.

At a family funeral a few years back, a woman (a wannabe Broadway playah) got up and sang. Badly.

This NYT story on the insidiousness that is a capella nails this show-folks problem.

Money quote:

"Taken to an extreme, dislike and mistrust of a cappella has even led to violence: a 2007 fight outside a New Year’s Eve party in San Francisco — instigated, allegedly, by an impromptu performance of the national anthem by the Baker’s Dozen, a men’s a cappella group from Yale — sent several members to the hospital."

Huzzah to the anti a capella vigilantes.

Dawnless Orlando?

2008-03-12T19:31:00.001-07:00

Tony Orlando is gonna be playing at the Lowell Memorial Auditorium.

No word on Dawn.

No shame

2008-03-12T08:18:00.001-07:00

When you think of shameless governors ( or ex-governors or soon-to-be-ex-governors) in the northeast, your mind probably leaps to Elliot Spitzer. But your mind might be wrong.

See here: Mitt Romney, never one to take a hint, is throwing his hat into the ring as John McCain's running mate. VP Nod would be 'honor', according to The Boston Herald.

Client 9 capitalism

2008-03-11T15:31:00.000-07:00

You gotta love capitalism and the free press.

Knew it all along!

2008-03-08T15:37:00.000-08:00

See! Alcohol IS good for you! I knew there was a reason to keep up the nightly bourbons and here it is w/ medical backup.

Not only that, the aspirin for the morning-after may be doing triple duty—alleviating your headache, saving you from a heart attack and now perhaps even from the Big C.

Oh! Mandy!

2008-03-05T18:59:00.000-08:00

Beware the perils of channel surfing while bored.

Has anyone ever seen this show with Mandy Patinkin? It's on CBS, it's about some sort of profiler-genius-pain-in-the-ass. Played by guess who.

Mandy is the personification of "over the topness" to make up a new word.

(Ah, here it is: Criminal Minds. )

OMG!

Seriously. Find this show and watch it. Once. With the volume carefully modulated.

The. Worst. Actor. Ever.

Ever.

I kept hoping he'd break into a few bars of Ragtime Girl. You know, like Michigan J. Frog.

Hammering Hank Steinbrenner

2008-03-02T13:02:00.000-08:00

It's going to be a fun season.

Spring training arrives and the Steinbrenner windbag starts blowing. Maybe some wit will follow the noise, but no matter.

It's gonna be great.

Vegas

2008-02-26T13:27:00.000-08:00

God, it seems like years since my last Las Vegas trip but it's surely less than one.

The change is seismic, as usual. Given the number of cranes and appearance of massive construction sites, this town is either unaffected by the real estate mess or is riding for one helluva fall.

Anyway, we were talking about which casinos have been demo'd and couldn't come up with a comprehensive list. That led to Googling, which led to this great site.

Good job Roy Vegas whoever you are.

Shocker: Newsweek uncovers gym risks

2008-02-21T20:24:00.000-08:00

Here's breaking news: Going to the gym can be hazardous to your health.

So says Newsweek. Beware of those killer damp towels. Ditto the germ-infested shower floors.

To prevent raging infection, the nation's top news weekly trots out these surprising tips: Use clean towels. Keep wounds covered. Don't go barefoot.

Any one of those could be the top story on The Duh Daily, but Newsweek?

Here's a personalized (and short) list of tips for surviving my gym--all based on experience.

1: If there's a bank of 20 empty lockers, do NOT take up residence right next to me. I'm not kidding. Just don't.

2: If you think you have a tic on your upper arm, do NOT rush up, shove your bare breast-and-armpit in my mug and demand that I inspect it. Seriously.

3: If you're lifting weights and feel the need to vocalize operatically (especially if you're pressing 10 lbs). Stifle.

McMitt

2008-02-14T20:05:00.001-08:00

What fresh hell is this?

Mitt Romney took to a Boston dais today to pledge his support and maybe even his delegates to John McCain.

It was supposed to be a kumbaya moment and yet the two pols stayed as far apart as was possible. McCain appeared to have gas. Or maybe he smelled something funky. And Mitt? Well Mitt looked Mitt-like. You know: waxen. Insincere.

Here's a man who would be vice president. Or maybe secretary of something.

God help us.

Take that, choco-snobs

2008-02-13T19:05:00.001-08:00

Vindication at last!

Milk chocolate does, in fact, rule. The New York Times sez so.

So there.

K-K-K-K-K-arma

2008-02-12T06:57:00.000-08:00

Peeps around here are just barely starting to get over their post-Super-Bowl funk. Even hardcore Patriots fans now acknowledge (privately) that the Pats--in particular their grumpy, ethics-challenged fearless leader Bill Belichick--probably had it coming.

Also, Ellis Hobbs.

Wait till next year.

Clemens saga: The family that juices together...

2008-02-08T15:05:00.000-08:00

Mrs. Clemens on the juice too? Wow.

More here.

Ruh, roh

2008-02-07T11:58:00.001-08:00

First the Super Bowl debacle.

Now this.

Is this a return to the dark ages for Boston?

Go Celts.

Who asked him?

2008-02-05T19:46:00.000-08:00

Joe Lieberman rules out new vice presidential run.

This time with a Republican candidate. He says he won't be McCain's running mate.

This begs the question: Did anyone ask him?

He also said he has "no intention" of leaving the Democratic party.

Many would argue he did that long ago. And good riddance.

Clintstones overcome Kennedys to win Mass.

2008-02-05T19:08:00.000-08:00

Who knew? Hillary won big in Massachusetts, despite the Kennedys' very public embrace of Barack Obama.

Well, most of them hearted Barack. Caroline and Uncle Ted spurned Billary (aka The Clintstones) for Obama. RFK Jr., on the other hand, starred in a TV ad blitz backing Hillary.

John Kerry threw in with Obama. No one cared. But the Kennedys? That was a big deal, although there was a theory that the endorsements were a double-sided sword.

Theory 1: The clan has lost its teeth in Mass. Given my personal demographics, I'd say this is the case. Many of us live in fear of Joe resurfacing to run for something again. Spare us. Please. Lots of poor people still need heat.

Folks are sick of the antics. Anyone who thinks Hillary and Bill have an "entitlement" problem should get a load of this set of grandkids. Ted, however, won big time street cred with his early and unwavering anti-war vote. (Yes, Hillary you TOO could have read the briefing and done the right thing or at least assigned a minion to do so.)

Once he gave up on personal ambitions for the presidency, he became a pretty good senator. Although a pretty embarrassing one at times.

Theory 2: For all of its self-proclaimed liberalism, Mass remains a tad racist. Hopefully not.

On the other side of the aisle, the icky Mitt Romney managed to win his home state. You know, the one he keeps making fun of. Still, it's really looking like even old-school Republicans would rather hold their noses and vote for McCain or embrace Huckabee than embrace this oil slick of a man.

What's great is that McCain and Huckabee (and before that Rudy) are in violent agreement that Mitt should not go to Washington. How great is that?

No double dip for you!

2008-02-03T07:36:00.000-08:00

So it's true: Double-dipping is bad for you.

Who knew?

Seinfeld for one. Still, it's great that someone actually got grant money to study this phenomenon. Double dipping that chip into the guac and/or salsa spreads germs.

More here.

Next up: a NASA-funded look into the trajectory of a double spitter and a USDA survey on the ethics of the Soup Nazi.

Dust off the reboot-your-car jokes now

2008-02-02T10:00:00.000-08:00

A Ford with Microsoft-powered voice controls.

In what universe did this seem like a good idea?

Kiss of death

2008-01-29T16:40:00.000-08:00

Everyone's still abuzz about Ted Kennedy's backing of Barack Obama.

The Clintons sure know how to screw things up. Obama had the good grace to seem truly thankful. Still, as a bright guy, he's gotta know this is one mixed bag of ... em ... support. Yeah, support's the word.

The even earlier news that John Kerry was throwing in with Barack was viewed by some in Boston as a kiss of death. Kinda like when Kerry wished the Red Sox luck. The Old Town Team overcame the bad mojo. Hopefully Barack will too.

One has to wonder who the Republicans are salivating more over--Obama backed by Kennedy/Kerry, kind of a Beelzebub/anti-Christ duo of northeast liberals OR the Clintons.

Maybe they'll drive themselves into early graves obsessing over it.

While the repubs work themselves into a frenzy, you have to feel for all those comedy writers for Jon Stewart and Steven Colbert who must just be dying a little bit inside with all this material just waiting to be picked over.

Fraudster mastermind just an 'average Joe'

2008-01-26T13:49:00.001-08:00

Jerome Kerviel can't catch a break.

He's the mid-level functionary allegedly responsible for a $7.2 billion (BILLION!) loss for Societe Generale, the not-as-big-as-it-used-to-be French bank.

In early reports he was painted as a financial mastermind. Now, according to The New York Times and others, he's "Mr. Average,"

He never got further than a green belt in Judo; attended an "average college" where he got "unremarkable grades."

Worse, it appears he didn't personally profit from his "rogue" trading.

If you're gonna get caught for perpetrating massive fraud, wouldn't you rather go out looking like James Bond rather than Homer Simpson?

Well at least he's a Facebook star.

Watertown wins the crapper museum

2008-01-25T15:33:00.000-08:00

This is the biggest news to hit these parts since the mysterious closing of Kay's Fruits. The Toilet Museum is coming to a spot near the squa-ah. As in Watertown Square not those wannabes Harvard or Copley Squares.

More here. Suffice it to say, Worcester's loss is our gain.

Note: This is not a snark-post. It really is pretty cool.

More feedback on Rocket Roger

2008-01-08T16:54:00.000-08:00

You gotta get a load of this.

Clemens and Martarano: Best of Boston?

2008-01-07T08:34:00.000-08:00

Was it just dumb luck that 60 Minutes last night focused on two of Boston’s most infamous?

Oddly, between alleged-steroid-user and bona fide creep Roger Clemens and professional hit man John Martarano, the latter seemed more credible. Yes, he killed something like 20 people (he didn’t count). No, he didn’t enjoy it but yes, he felt it was the right thing to do in those circumstances. And yes, he intimated he’d probably kill Whitey Bulger if given half a chance.

So for this guy to outshine Roger really says something.

Granted there are many in Boston who’ve never forgiven Clemens for his grace-less exit and subsequent thuggish behavior. When he threw the broken bat at Mike Piazza in the Subway Series, it was clear that something had gone horribly awry with Clemens. His claim that he “thought it was the ball” never made sense. Unless he suddenly thought himself engaged in dodge ball. That made me a Mets fan. Quite a move for someone still nursing the memory of the 1986 series like an open wound.

Anyway, at the risk of legal action, Roger looked to me like a lying sack of you-know-what. Now he’s sued his accuser--which might have been a lot more convincing a month ago. Had he, personally, gone to the media immediately after the Mitchell Report screaming foul (as David Justice did) he might have gotten more support. Instead it looked like he was checking his story, once, twice, thrice. Going over every syllable with his lawyers. Then letting them do his talking. Then a video...It just didn't compute.

Then, last night on national TV, he accused his accuser of trafficking in steroids. How exactly that claim helps Roger’s credibility is beyond mere mortals. So Brian McNamee bought and sold HGH and steroids but he injected Clemens only with B-12 and lidocaine??? Hmmm.

It also is incredible to me that he had no knowledge that he would be named in the report. That directly contradicts what George Mitchell said.

The whole 60 Minutes juxtaposition of Clemens and Martarano harkens back to Billy Martin’s famous quote about of George Steinbrenner and Reggie Jackson: “One’s a born liar, the other’s convicted.”

For a good roundup of Clemens critiques see this USA Today blog.

Mitt's slip, slidin' away

2008-01-01T19:32:00.000-08:00

Schadenfreude rules. The latest news out of N.H. is that McCain is surging, Mitt, our former-not-so-beloved gov is sliding, and the nutjob out of New York is stuck in neutral.

And in Iowa, Mike Huckabee may prove that Romney may have rented, not bought, Iowans' support. More here.

There are many surface reasons to dislike Mitt: The escapee-from-the-waxworks look is one. More substantive is the fact that he has been badmouthing the state that gave him his last executive position all over the country. How smart is a guy who doesn't "get" that what he says in South Carolina gets heard in Boston-Worcester-Springfield. Or worse, doesn't care.

He condescends to the wacky liberal-lefties of the northeast. Worse he mocks them to amuse his new most-wanted constituency: Christian Conservatives.

News flash: They're not gonna buy into him.

Poor Mitt: He's stuck between the rock of Northeast liberalism and the hard place of the preachers.

Couldn't happen to a better guy.

Sweet story

2007-12-29T19:06:00.001-08:00

A nice late Christmas present to New Englanders in Friday's New York Times.

Gumbel surfaces

2007-12-29T18:18:00.000-08:00

So this is where Bryant Gumbel went. Not that we missed him.

Speaking of Gumbelmania, if you start typing his name into google, the second "auto-fill" option is "Bryant Gumbel sucks." That can't be a good thing.

Reviews aren't good either.

ANd in the Boston market (WCVB) the aforementioned NFL "Network" during the simulcast of Pats vs. Giants is shamelessly plugging itself, requesting that woebegotten cable customers besiege our providers to provide their goods.

Seriously: BRYANT GUMBEL?

If he says "we got ourselves a game here one more time, someone's gonna bazooka barf.

So much for a quick cuppa jo

2007-12-27T21:34:00.000-08:00

Just when you thought things couldn’t get any worse, it appears that
Dunkin Donuts will start selling Massachusetts lottery tickets.

It was really bad when the chain dumped fresh-baked donuts acouple years ago so it could cater to the latte, cappacino, frappachino craze. That added minutes to the line. Now it’ll take a half hour minimum to fill your caffeine craving.

Not everyone needs a double-soy-decaf-no-fat-machiatto. And now this latest indignity: Do we really need yet another retail outlet for these infernal tickets?

Oh, if Double-Dee can’t slake your lotto thirst, apparently Home Depot and CVS can do it as well.

INT-eresting forecast

2007-12-27T06:14:00.000-08:00

Worcester today is expected to experience "freezing fog."

Gotta get my mind around that one.

Who's your daddy?

2007-12-22T07:13:00.001-08:00

For people who really, really wanna know there's "Boston Paternity."

I only know this because their spiffy white van was on the pike the other day. If you're gonna have to get swabbed, at least they come to you.

It advertised fast, easy DNA testing: Tag line was something like: "Find the father."

More here.

Services include both relationship and fidelity testing. And both legal and "non-legal" paternity testing. Oh my! Lots of references about affordability. No prices. Hmmm.

Let it snow, let snow, let it...Enough already!

2007-12-16T11:51:00.000-08:00

Everyone had pretty much panicked the day before, so by the time I left work around 2 pm on Thursday I was sick of hearing about the snow. Clearing off the rig in Framingham was no biggie. There were a couple inches, but it was light, fluffy fairy powder. Like movie snow.

No problemo.

About two miles later, problemo. The turn off from to the Shoppers World cut-through was unplowed. No one wanted to chance it. The growing caravan of still-moving-but-slow-as-crap traffic continued east.

Half mile later: Gridlock. Took 40 minutes minimum to make it to Speen Street. Then we sat. And sat. And watched the lights by Neiman Marcus cycle through over. And over. And over again.

Still, chin up. It’s a good time to catch up on the AM talk loonies. Plus it was the steroid hearing day. Nothing to do but punch in WEEI and listen to the George Mitchell press conference. Hell if I’ stayed at work, I would have missed this and it was juicy. Pun intended.

Word had percolated earlier that morning that the hated Roger Clemens was named. Since he chucked the business end of a broken bat at Mike Piazza in the world series many had pegged Roger as a roid-rager. But Andy Pettite? INT-eresting.

And Miguel Tejada? Rafael Palmeiro had thrown him under the bus already, but was kinda hoping it wasn’t true.

You could almost hear fellow road-refugees heave a collective sigh of relief when it became clear that none of the Red Sox heroes were listed. No Manny Ramirez. No Big Papi. Although most who’ve watched the team know that Manny’s probable drug-of-choice is by no means performance enhancing. If you catch my drift.

The EEI guys were blaring on and on self-righteously about an earlier MSNBC report that Jason Varitek had been “named.” But then he hadn’t been. So the long knives were out for MSNBC and whoever the blogger was that desecrated the captain’s good name. Listening to those boyz get all holier than thou was a little much.

The snow kept coming.

Apparently a Yankees trainer had blown the whistle on Rocket Roger, Pettite and others. Brian Macnamee.

About an hour later, still on Speen (the stretch between Route 9 and the Mass Pike entrance is maybe two miles. Maybe.) Greg from Plymouth called in to opine that “Eric Gagne quit juicing too soon.” Couldn’t he have sucked it up another season instead of imploding at Fenway? The guy was a disaster.

Gotta love these guys.

Another hour slugged by. We’d memorized the facades of Neiman Marcus and Home Depot. It was Bud Selig’s turn. (Let it be said that the
”Selig Sucks” T-shirt, bought outside Fenway, remains the best present of all time.)

Selig said he will Take Action! Unilateral Action Where Possible! But clearly this mess is the players’ fault, the union’s fault. Face it; It’s all on Donald Fehr. Where was Selig when the players were achieving full pumpitude and slamming record home runs and saving the game from strike fallout? I’ll tell you where: He was counting the leagues money and covering owners’ asses? “Hind sight is 20 20,” says Bud in the press conference. Puhleazze.

At one point, he actually said he hadn’t read the whole report. Come again? Isn’t this what he paid $20 million of fan’s dollars for? And hadn’t he had it for three days? if his eyes are tired or he can’t read, couldn’t one of his minions read it to him? Come on! And we wonder why baseball’s reputation—if not its coffers—is in tatters.

Ted from Marlborough calls: “What’s it say when the guy with the most credibility in baseball is Jose Canseco?”

Point taken.

EEI guys reports that Canseco was denied access to the press conference and pitched a fit.

Ah, the pike. NOW things will move.

Wrong again.

The parking lot stretches through the tollbooth onto the onramp. When we move, it’s at a walker’s pace. A slow walker. The speedometer barely budges. It takes another hour plus to get to the Route 128 tolls. People get out of their cars to clear windshields and back windows. We’ve been sitting still for so long that back windows jam up repeatedly.

My primary concern became the state of my bladder. Back window snowed in again.

Wonder where Brian Macnamee and that other guy—Kirk Radomski are right now. Undisclosed location no doubt.

As we crawl towards exit 17, it’s now dark, the snow continues. People start merging to toward the right miles ahead. Stuck in the second right lane, I start to wonder if anyone will let merge right in the foreseeable future. Doubtful.

Murray from Newton rings in to say that given the news on Clemens, the whole region, nay the whole Red Sox nation owes Dan Duquette an apology. Maybe Clemens really was in the twilight of his career when the Sox let him go. His renaissance with the Blue Jays and Yanks is now forever suspect, he says.

Tom Caron, of NESN and also an EEI guy, says Clemens could have been using while at the Sox. Bold words for a company man. Of course Sox ownership has changed since then.

Hallelujah. The pike-straddling Star Market appears on the horizon. I call home to see what the state of the local roads is. Answer? Unplowed.

Given that there’s a large hill between the exit and home, the new master plan, if the exit is navigable, is to park in the old Cahners building and hit Buff’s Pub for a burger and the facilities. And wait for the local plows to do their thing.

Hallucinatory burger images and smells tantalize. Bourbon would be nice too. And Buff’s has great fries. And a bathroom. Bingo.

The ramp is a mile away. No need to worry about merging right. Everyone is merging right. Including the morons in the far left lane. It occurs in the three plus hours I’ve been on the pike, no plow or sander has been seen in either direction. Then again, how could they fit?

A car stopped on the ramp, which on a good day has one and a half lanes. Extraordinarily enough, there is orderly merging around the poor schlub who either ran out of gas or just couldn’t make it up the grade. Even odder, there’s hardly any traffic on the Centre Street rotary. Red letter day. This is always a snarl. It looks like I could shoot right over to Watertown Square but bladder conditions forbid the attempt.

Breezed into the old Cahners digs. Cut through the building, past Pizzeria Uno’s to Washington street. Try to grab a Globe out of the street box. The coin changer doesn’t work

Catastophe: Buff’s is closed. Back to Uno’s which never looked so good.

Back through the drifts to the Pizzeria Uno where the tables are packed but a bar stool awaits.

Bourbon, I tell the bartender. “Make it a double,” chime in the two guys adjacent. First one’s from Colorado in town for business, The other, from Rhode Island, gave up on his commute and checked into the Sheraton across the street. The bar over there was overwhelmed so Uno’s wins the runoff.

The bar’s abuzz about Clemens and Pettite. And Mo Vaughan. “There’s a guy who didn’t need to bulk up,” says Rhode Island.

Colorado is amazed that a whole region gets shut down by a measly 10 inches of snow. He’s shot down. “Rockies fan,” someone mutters.

Another guy pulls up a chair. New Yorker. Doesn’t have much to say vis a vis Roger or Andy. Nurses his beer glumly. Orders dinner to go. Someone mentions Chuck Knoblauch and New Yorker practically erupts. “I HATE THAT GUY. Steroids was the LEAST of his problems.” Then no one can shut him up.

The bourbon is deelish. The chicken may have been the best ever. Six hours in a motionless car blinded by snow does funny things to you.

I call in for local road update and get the hi sign.
Centre Street is still slick but car-free. So too, miraculously, is Watertown square. Common Street looks bad, as I hit the hill. Some moron has stopped in the road. Bourbon- emboldened I blow by on the left. Life lesson from Vermont: Never, ever slow on the up hill or you’re dead meat.

The ranch never looked so good. Time: 8:20. It took six hours to cover 15 miles—including dinner.

Kitty litter cake???????????????

2007-12-16T09:44:00.000-08:00

This must be a joke right? Maybe not. See here.

Seriously, why???

Fabulosity

2007-12-09T15:55:00.000-08:00

This is one helluva an obit about one helluva gal, Mary Lillian Ellison. She was better known in wrestling circles as “the Fabulous Moolah."

Money quote from The New York Times: “The Fabulous Moolah enjoyed the mayhem, but she especially coveted the money.”

When she started, her promoter found her given name was not nearly glitzy enough for the ring.

He asked her why she was wrestling: “Annoyed, I blurted out, ‘For the money. I want to wrestle for the moolah.’” according to her biographical account: "The Fabulous Moolah: First Goddess of the Squared Circle."

Eerily reminiscent

2007-12-08T19:32:00.000-08:00

Today it occurred to me that the opening riffs to U2's "Sunday, Bloody, Sunday" and Stevie Wonder's "Superstition" are actually pretty much one and the same.

Bubble? What Bubble?

2007-12-07T09:19:00.000-08:00

New Youtube fave on the current tech bubble (or lack of same.)

Mitt's Mormonism (and why it bugs us)

2007-12-03T17:06:00.000-08:00

Bostonians are very caught up in being open minded, in a very self-proclaimed way. Even though we’re anything but.

When I first got to "the Athens of America" too many years ago--actually it was the day the Pope arrived -- it irked me that people who witnessed the South Boston busing mess were the first to deride the south as the last-bastion of racism.

That’s why the whole
Mitt-erama is so ummmm, well un-COMFORTABLE.

Everyone likes to think they’re fair and unbiased. You. Me. Fox News. Nobody is. So might as well admit it and move on.

The other night over a wine-soaked dinner at one of the South End’s finer spots(garlic chicken to die for—YOU know the place), I was trying to explain why even though I knew I SHOUDLN”T be bothered by Mitt’s Mormonism, it still was still just, well bothersome.

The tortured confession came after a couple pomegranate martinis THEN a couple of side cars. Which really does explain a lot. There were eight at the table. I was trying to explain why Mitt’s faith should be no more an issue than JFK’s Catholicism was in 1960. However the whole Mormon thing, just seemed, well, it just seemed…

”WEIRD???,” interjected friend Peter. “It’s weird because MORMONISM is weird,” he explained. As if to a two-year old.

Well, it's good THAT’s out in the open. The difference between evolved vs. unevolved bigots is that the latter have the good grace or shame to seem embarrassed by it.

And really, it is kinda weird, no? Says the agnostic.

New ink-stained icon

2007-11-29T10:59:00.000-08:00

This is my new hero.

There are so few in reporting these days. From this interview, Matt Taibbi has the perfect mix of irreverence for journalism.

Money quote:

"If you have no real knowledge or skill set and you’re lazy and full of shit but you want to make a decent wage, then journalism’s not a bad career option. The great thing about it is that you don’t need to know anything."

At the same time he has the utmost respect for how it’s done, if it’s done right.

Money quote:

"“Seymour Hersh is the guy I really, really admire….He’s old school. He’s the kind of guy who sits and pores over the newsletters of all these minor government agencies to see who retired that week so he can approach that person to see if he’s got any stories to tell on his way out of service. There are a few guys like that who are still out there, but they’re all holdovers from a lost age. I’d like to say that I’m the continuation of that crop of journalists, but I’m totally not."

My buddy Ed, who sent this pointer, summed it up: “This guy Taibbi is the closest thing to Hunter Thompson Rolling Stone has had since well, Hunter Thompson."

Sigh.

How low can we go?

2007-11-26T19:13:00.001-08:00

The publishing game has quickly become, as Fake Steve Jobs put it, a race to the bottom.

Here's, a recent help-wanted ad on monster.com for a business “publication.”

The job description:

"The editor is responsible for all local editorial and photographic content that appears in each issue of the magazine. In 11 of the magazines this is a twice-a-month requirement and in three it is a weekly requirement. The generation of this editorial and photographic material includes the development and maintenance of industry contacts to develop story leads; the actual writing and correction of the story as well as assistance in directing the editorial composition and graphic look of each issue. The editor must regularly attend industry functions, hold positions within industry associations and councils, and attend trade shows. The editor must also visit equipment dealers and distributors and visit contractors in their offices and on job sites. This position requires 50% travel and frequent visits to construction job sites. The editor is also responsible for managing contributing editors who write for their magazines.

Qualifications:

1. Research, provide graphics, write and/or edit all materials that appear in all issues of their magazine, i.e. feature stories, industry news, people in the news, and other items of local interest.
2. Photograph and/or select covers for each issue.
3. Plan and develop a local editorial calendar that complements the national calendar.
4. Plan and manage editorial materials to ensure complete geographic and industry coverage.
5. Manage contributing editors who write for the magazine.
6. Manage freelance photographers who do photography for the magazine.
7. Manage time so as to meet editorial and production deadlines.
8. Generate and communicate local editorial priority list to traffic manager.
9. Review layouts and copy before going to press.
10. Develop strong local industry contacts with contractors, dealers, distributors, associations and governmental agencies.
11. Coordinate with local associate publisher and sales representatives to ensure full industry coverage.
12. Attend and cover all important local shows, meetings, conventions and dealer functions.
13. Develop and maintain relationships with freelance writers to cover special events and geographic regions when necessary.
14. Travel when and where necessary to cover the geographic areas covered by the magazine.
15. Visit Construction Job Sites.
16. Handle editorial calls, questions and discussions.
17. Handle all reader calls.
18. Contribute suggestions for national editorial content.
19. Participate in special national projects.
20. Research and write local special sections."

I'm not kidding. Check it out here.

Get your pedometer(s) here, but control yourself!

2007-11-25T20:19:00.000-08:00

At the Brighton New Balance Factory store checkout there’s a rack full of pedometers, including one Via model that gauges your calorie-burning efforts as well as distance covered. A sign warned would-be buyers that management could limit quantities sold to three per customer.

This begs the question: exactly how often are they overrun (no pun intended) by marauding marathoners/walkers/hikers who want to horde calorie-burn-measuring pedometers.

Speaking of Brighton, the new WGBH building is ginormous. And its signage looks uncannily like someting out of Vegas. Huh.

Stay-away Rod gets assist from the Oracle of Omaha

2007-11-19T08:56:00.000-08:00

Here's the most interesting headline from the weekend: 'Alex Rodriguez Gets A Surprise Assist From Fan in Omaha'.

And the deck: 'As Yankee Slugger Whiffed n Contract, He Turned To Buffett and Goldman'.

(The Wall Street Journal story is here.)

If A-Rod, who seems more like Eddie Haskell by the minute, turned to Warren Buffett and Goldman Sachs to help with his Yankee contract troubles, it won't be long before he hits up Dr. Phil for marriage counseling and Bill Gates for tech support.

Enough news about the purple-lipped freak. At least thanks to these high-powered assists, he'll be plying his trade in pinstripes and not in the Boston white-and-red.

Wacky world

2007-11-08T15:06:00.000-08:00

This is just plain weird.

Papelbon rising

2007-10-31T18:02:00.000-07:00

Okay, not to pile on the whole Red Sox-as-dynasty theme (although I hope it’s true) but here’s why I like this particular Soxian vintage.

First, they’re not all prepackaged and gee-swell-wholesome. Jonathan Papelbon has sported a world-class hangover since the clincher on Sunday. In fact, he apparently has lost the World Series Game Four game ball. These guys can not hold on to their championship mementos to save their lives.

Anyway, on Monday Papelbon, with his David Lynch hair, told a reporter at Fenway that he’d spent the night drinking and the morning puking. Maybe not a role-model, but definitely refreshing. And he’ll apparently say more of the same on Letterman tonight.

I was IM’g with a former co-worker who moved to the southwest. We had season’s bleacher tickets, back when they could be had for under $10 a game. For awhile, he jumped aboard the Diamondbacks bandwagon but recent Sox successes sucked him back into the vortex of the righteous. His take on Papelbon: “Ya gotta love him. I’d like to hang out with him—-for about six beers. Then, I want to leave before the fight starts."

"And it will.”

The Sox parade on Tuesday was hilarious. At one point, Manny Ramirez appeared to be wearing not one, not two, but three hats. At the same time. And none appeared to fit.

That raises his chapeau quotient from the two he wears on field. Another friend, a Mariners fan no less, loves to watch Manny play left at Safeco Field. “I love it when he loses both hats on a play,” he writes.

We all have our hobbies.

Turning the tables on PR spam

2007-10-30T17:59:00.000-07:00

If you're a reporter or ever have been, you must love what Wired Editor Chris Anderson has done.

While i'm completely sympathetic, a buddy who left the profession a few years ago summed up his view about Mr. Long Tail's tactic:

"I feel privileged he even lets me read his blog."

NPR annoyance

2007-10-30T14:15:00.000-07:00

Why is it that NPR's Nina Totenberg feels compelled to read reams of "dialogue" verbatim from each Supreme Court case she covers?

Someone who's covered a beat as long as she has should be able to paraphrase the important stuff and quote judiciously just the "good bits."

Who needs: Question: Blah blah blah. Response: blah blah blah?

If anyone wants to read a transcript they can do so. In print, extensive quote mongering is usually a sign the reporter isn't sure about what he or she is writing about.

What's her excuse?

What do Yogi, Sinatra, Einstein and Streep have in common

2007-10-26T17:47:00.000-07:00

New Jersey today announced a Hall of Fame of its very own.

Inductees range from Thomas Edison to Bruce Springsteen. And of course the Chairman of the Board. Also astronaut Buzz Aldrin and novelist Toni Morrison.

Which leads to the seminal question: who’s the ranking member—The Chairman or The Boss?

No shortage of angst here

2007-10-26T11:17:00.000-07:00

There’s been a lot of
jawing in the local media about how, since the Sox won it all in 2004, there’s a certain lack of say—-agita, neurosis, angst—in the general populace.

Short memories among those who just had to be talked off the ledge, Tobin Bridge, insert local-high-spot-here when Boston was down 3-1 to Cleveland. What was that—-a week ago?

For some, the fact that the Sox are up 2-0 in the World Series vs. an under-performing Rockies team stirs quite a bit of the “A” word. Folks who think the Rockies might just have us right where they want us.

Go figure.

This is not the heart of New England for nothing. Disaster lurks just beyond every victory and don’t you forget it.

Not a good sign for game one Sox v. Rox

2007-10-24T16:34:00.000-07:00

This is NOT a good omen.

The morons at the local Fox affiliate actually had John Kerry on to wish the Red Sox luck. This is convincing evidence that the only broadcast group more inept and obnoxious than the Fox national sports on-air team is the local Fox morons. Including Maria and what's his name. They are unwatchable.

Stay tuned. I hear Fox has lined up Michael Dukakis to drive his tank to the mound for the first pitch.

P.S. Note to Senator Kerry: John--Why the long face?

This is the mystery man

2007-10-23T19:19:00.000-07:00

The non-demonstrative guy behind home plate is Jeremy Kapstein, a senior advisor to the top Red Sox cheese. And apparently the prototype for Jerry McGuire.

You know he had to be a big deal given his box-seat real estate. But, seriously, could he look a little bit happy about it???

Toldja there'd be more on this

2007-10-23T19:08:00.000-07:00

Here's the inevitable David Copperfield-show-goes-poof story.

Boston Globe: Sox beat Indians 7-1 in Game 5

2007-10-19T07:54:00.000-07:00

One word: Phew.

Story here.

At last a Web community I can get behind

2007-10-18T19:16:00.000-07:00

It’s true I don’t have the bandwidth to track the idiocy that emanates from Tim McCarver’s mouth. Thankfully, a little googling shows there’s an army of like-minded citizens out there.

Finally. A community I can get behind. A large group who hate, loathe and despise Tim McCarver. Wait, that’s too harsh. They hate, loathe and despise what Tim McCarver says. On national TV. Ruining our favorite game. He is, in the words of one blogger, imminently "mute-worthy."

The orange-headed freak accounts for four of the 35 stupidest-ever sports quotes as compiled here. As one respondent said, he surely deserves more.

There is a consensus about the orange-headed freak. Misery loves company. See here. And here. And here. Oh yeah and here.

These are my new peeps.

Funky data centers

2007-10-15T19:20:00.000-07:00

This was a kind of fun ComputerWorld assignment on “funky” data centers. But not nearly as fun as some of the resulting
Slashdot comments. Check out Blakey Rats in particular.

What the....?

2007-10-15T16:45:00.000-07:00

Maybe someone out there knows what this means.

In tonight's Fox broadcast of game 3 Sox-Indians, Tim McCarver and Joe Buck were nattering on about Victor Martinez' likes and dislikes. Apparently, Kansas City is his favorite road town and Curb Your Enthusiasm his favorite show, said Young Joe Buck.

To which McCarver rejoins: "There are four Venezuelans on this team and his favorite show stars Larry David."

What the heck is he trying to say here?

Is it code?

Anyone?

Thoughts from Sox vs. Indians, game one

2007-10-12T19:00:00.000-07:00

First: Who’s the dude behind home plate, with the dark jacket? A buddy in Seattle who watches most games has been obsessing about this all season. The guy shows no emotion. Typically wears a dark jacket, white shirt. No emotion. No chit chat. He’s over the right hand batter’s shoulder each at bat. My buddy think's he's an alien.

Second: What’s with Asdrubal Cabrera’s pearls? At first I thought they were a bit much, then I remembered: It’s a night game. (Ed. note: Here's the answer.)

Third: I take back nearly everything bad I said about Bobby Kielty, who started in right over new-fan-fave Jacoby Ellsbury (who has played center and left but not right) and fan goat J.D. (aka Nancy) Drew. Kielty tonight proved he can still hit Sabathia, which was why he was called.

Fourth: Note Manny’s errant dreadlock. Looks like it’s signaling a left turn. Actually not a bad idea, when you remember this is Manny we're talking about. It's not a given he'd take a left at first.

Fifth: It’s the seventh inning, Sox are up 10-2. One is tempted to chalk this one up as a "W." Until Paul calls from the road en route to the Pats game in Texas and reminds: “Just remember. Gagne’s sitting in the pen, waiting. Tick, tick, tick.”

Check. Check. No premature celebrations.

Question for you: When is it appropriate to say a team has broken a game open? Sportscasters in recent memory have said the Sox have broken one open when they get a five run lead. Umm, I don't know about you, but seems to me plenty of teams have resurged against bigger leads than that.

Case in point, that Friday night Yanks-Sox game in September. On second thought, forget about it. I'm still trying to.

Gotta Love Uncov

2007-10-12T07:51:00.000-07:00

A friend clued me in to the Uncov site a couple months ago. It is, in short, brilliant

Now someone has taken the time to interview the brains of the operation here.

God love Ted Dziuba.

Here’s a money quote from the Wired interview.

“You know you're a bullshit company when your core technology is Ajax. If the business is every widget under the sun conglomerated into this giant application, there's no real technology there. There's no noteworthy computer-science problem being solved. The Ajax stuff is pre-written. You just have to go to the libraries and put it all together.

When Gmail came out -- and Gmail is a pretty kick-ass product -- it was like, "Ha! Ajax for dynamic web apps! We can use it for everything!" So now you have companies like Zoho, for example. Their sole goal is to take every desktop app that ever existed and reimplement it in Ajax with no added features or functionality. It irritates me as an engineer that companies with no engineering merit, first off, are getting funded and, second off, are getting bought out.“

My hero.